


10 Things I Love About Dean Winchester-A Presentation by Castiel, Angel of the Lord

by Crematosis



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, DestielFFPrompt (Supernatural), M/M, Sam Winchester is Scarred For Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:53:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25846135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crematosis/pseuds/Crematosis
Summary: Castiel makes a Powerpoint presentation about Dean's best attributes. It's not what Dean ever expected.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 7
Kudos: 95
Collections: SPN TFW Bingo





	10 Things I Love About Dean Winchester-A Presentation by Castiel, Angel of the Lord

**Author's Note:**

> For my Crack square for SPN TFW Bingo

There were few things Dean loved more than a quiet day home in the bunker. There were no cases to work on and no apocalypse hanging over their heads. It was a nice reprieve.

He whistled to himself as he puttered around in the kitchen. He was cooking tonight and it looked like he had everything he needed to put some burgers together. Everyone loved burgers, even Sam who put so much vegetables on his they were more salad than sandwich.

The peace was broken by a loud shriek that seemed to echo through the entire bunker.

Dean immediately went for his gun. “Sam?” He proceeded down the hallway slowly, listening carefully for any further disturbance.

For a moment, everything was quiet. And then Sam bolted out of the library.

Dean grabbed his arm. “Dude. Where’s the fire?”

“It’s Cas,” Sam said, his eyes wide and wild. “He’s gone crazy.”

“What kind of crazy?” Dean demanded. If Cas was trying to destroy the world again, they were in serious trouble.

Sam shook his head. “Just don’t go in there.”

“You can’t say something like that. Now I’ve got to check it out..”

“Fine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Sam tugged his arm out of Dean’s grasp and headed in the direction of his bedroom.

Dean spun him back around. “Oh no you don’t. If something’s going on with Cas, we’re gonna help him out. He’s family now and we don’t abandon our family when they need us.”

“I’m not equipped to handle this kind of thing,” Sam complained. But he let Dean drag him back into the library.

Dean had been expecting the library to be trashed, for there to be signs of a struggle as Sam fled from whatever craziness Cas was into. But the library looked almost normal and the angel was standing in the middle of the room, squinting against the bright light of a projector.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel said. “And Sam. Will you let me finish the rest of my presentation now?”

Sam shuddered. “Hell no.”

Dean lowered the gun. “Uh, hey, buddy. What’s going on in here?”

“Nothing of import,” Castiel said quickly. He fiddled with the laptop open on the table. “I was discussing something with Sam.”

“Kinda looks like you’re doing a Powerpoint presentation with this whole computer, projector set-up,” Dean said, gesturing to the equipment. “A presentation on…”

He frowned at the image projected on the wall. It was obviously taken during one of their hunts. Dean had a blur of a monster pinned underneath him and a knife raised mid-stab. He looked pretty badass if he did say so himself.

“Want to tell me why you got a picture of me up there?”

Castiel hunched his shoulders. “I was giving Sam a presentation on your best attributes.”

“No way.” Dean beamed. “That’s awesome. I want to see it.””

“No,” Sam said. “You really don’t.”

“Shut up, bitch. I do too.” He gave Cas an encouraging smile. “Roll it, Cas. Take it from the top.”

Castiel sighed and poked a few keys on the computer.

Immediately the image changed to one of Dean after a hunt, covered in the blood and guts of some monster. But it had to have been an easy hunt because the Dean in the picture was grinning widely, an arm slung around Sam’s shoulder and even Sam was smiling a little.

“I enjoy seeing you happy,” Cas said. “All too often you return from hunts injured and feeling guilt over how many people you weren’t able to save. Seeing you in such a celebratory mood is very rare, but I cherish your smiles.”

“That’s uh….very nice,” Dean said, shifting uncomfortably. This was getting a little too close to feelings territory. He had hoped the whole slideshow was compliments about his hunting skills and maybe a bit about his damn good burgers. He knew Cas cared about him, but he didn’t want to look too closely at that. And he especially didn’t want Sam to look too closely at that.

Castiel clicked over to the next image.

Dean blinked in surprise. It was a picture of him sitting on a plastic chair at some kind of party. He was obviously very drunk in the picture. He had a beer bottle in one hand, his shirt rucked up to his neck, and a cheesy smirk on his face.

“Damn, this is an old one,” Dean said with a low whistle. “Some celebration at Bobby’s maybe?” He squinted at the picture, trying to see if he could make out anybody in the background.

“I do not know,” Castiel said. “This photo was given to me by one of your friends. They said it would be effective blackmail material.”

“Ha, joke’s on them. This is far from the worst thing someone’s caught me doing.” He nudged Sam in the ribs. “This is what you’re freaking out about? It’s just a goofy picture.”

Sam crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh, it gets worse. Trust me.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Alright, fine. Cas, what’s this picture supposed to show anyway? Other than the fact that I like to drink.”

Something about the importance of family, maybe, if he was lucky. If he was unlucky, probably something about showing vulnerability.

Cas stared at the image intently. “I find your nipples to be a very aesthetically pleasing shade of pink.”

“And there it is,” Sam said with a sigh.

“Dude,” Dean said. “That’s fucking weird. You don’t just say that kind of thing to people.”

Cas blinked at him. “Do you not compliment women’s breasts?”

“Well, I mean, yeah, I’ve told a couple chicks they have nice tits. But I don’t tell them they have aesthetically pleasing nipples. That’s just weird, man.”

“I understand,” Castiel said. “You have nice nips.” He made an awkward attempt at a wink and then looked to Dean for approval.

Dean scrubbed a hand over his face. “Forget about that for now. Moving on.”

The next image was of Dean bending over to grab something from the bottom shelf in one of the bunker’s storage rooms.

Dean snorted. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Are you going to tell me I have an aesthetically appealing ass too?”

Cas nodded. “You have a very shapely rear, Dean. If I was the pizza man I would certainly desire to-”

“No!” Sam shouted. “I don’t want to hear anymore.” He bolted back out the door.

“Strange. This is the same slide we left off the first time,” Cas mused. He clicked over to the first image Dean had seen, of him about to stab the monster of the day, whatever it was.

“We really need to talk about this, bud,” Dean said finally.

Cas nodded. “I admire the play of your muscles as you work. And I can’t help but notice that the jeans you wore were slightly tighter than usual.”

“Holy hell,” Dean said. “I’m usually all for traumatizing Sam, but frankly this is a little weird for me too. What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?”

Castiel looked away. “I hope this doesn’t come as a shock to you, Dean, but I find you to be the most interesting example of humanity. I know my brethren have always found my interest unusual and even your brother cannot fathom what I see in you. I had hoped this would explain everything.”

Dean chuckled. “I think Sam was looking for more abstract qualities like my fearlessness in battle or my sparkling personality.”

Cas squinted at his screen. “I think that would be difficult to convey in images.”

“Fair enough.”

“But they are no less desirable qualities,” Castiel hastened to assure him.”You are not just a pretty face, as the saying goes.”

“Course not. I’m also a great ass and a hot bod,” Dean said with a teasing smile. “But hey, you could always do a written presentation on how charming and hilarious and totally sexy I am.”

Castiel’s eyes narrowed. “I made this presentation for Sam. I don’t think you need to be convinced of your own charm.”

Dean shrugged. “Well, sure, but it doesn’t hurt to hear how awesome I am from time to time.”

Ugh, that sounded a little needy. 

Dean cleared his throat. “Anyway, uh, thanks for the entertainment for the afternoon.”

“Wait,” Castiel said. “You’re right. You do deserve to hear positive things about yourself. Quite often you sell yourself short and make disparaging comments. It will do you some good to hear how your honesty, kindness, loyalty, and steadfast perseverance have inspired me over the years.”

Dean swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. “I, uh...you haven’t finished your first presentation yet. Might want to get through talking about my body before we move on to the rest of it.”

“Of course, Dean.” Castiel took Dean’s hand in his and gazed into his eyes earnestly. “Your penis is perfectly proportionate.”

Dean grimaced. “Actually, no, I think I like the chick flick shit better.”

Castiel smiled. “Good. Have a seat, Dean. I have quite a lot to say and you need to hear all of it.”


End file.
